Journal Thursday

Last week"s Journal Thursday was about writing about others who showed kindness to you. This week will be about your kindness toward others.

Think of 3 people on 3 different occasions where you acted in kindness toward them. These can be those you know or those you had (or have) never met. Journal about each of these experiences. Please limit these 3 entries to actions you took that had no ulterior motives attached.

Journal Thursday

Tis the season of giving, sharing and gratefulness. Many times we may find ourselves overlooking kindness done for us especially when we are in emotional or mental pain.

Take a moment and reflect back to 3 times when someone extended kindness to you...no matter how big or small. This could have been from a friend, family member, an acquaintance or complete stranger. Whether the person may or may not have had ulterior motives is irrelevant at this point. The emphasis is on an act of kindness...not reading into motives. If, however, ulterior motives would negatively affect your journaling, pick another act of kindness.

Now journal about what frame of mind you were in prior to each act of kindness. Then, journal about what you thought, how you felt and acted during and after these events.

May I encourage you to focus on what is kind, good, lovely, and admirable.

Got Bad Holiday Stress???

These are the days where holiday cheer can easily become holiday jeer!

You may have been hurt by others in the past with a miserable experience or this may be a time of feeling empty due to a loved one who has passed or a separation from a close friend or spouse due to a move, discontentment or a divorce. The need to be loved, respected and appreciated is always a plus as well as a need we all have and yet on these holiday times we are not in such a festive mood to receive them.

So how do we change this? Do we want things to be better? Do we want to feel better about ourselves? Even though we cannot change the past, we can change, with some help, encouragement and hope the present. How?

One way is to be for others what you seek for yourself. This is demonstrated by not expecting anything in return but to be a joy and encouragement to others...Some examples may be to send a personalized card, visit a retirement, nursing home, or an orphanage, or bake cookies or goodies for those who others may have "forgotten". Don't join any "pity" party...misery may love company but this is not for you.

Got Good Holiday Stress???

Yeah...these are the days that fly by with a blur or a painful crawl. But can we make these feelings change for ourselves? Yes!

Stress can be good or bad depending on what it's about and your interpretation of it. Good? Yes! Say, for example, you are setting up a Christmas tree with all the lights and trimmings, or outdoor holiday lights and decor, or preparing a 5 course meal for a festive occasion for family and friends. It takes preparation, detailed work and timing and a bit of defining your space or menu, etc. You may think, "How will this look with this?", or "I wonder if grandma will like my new casserole dish?" or "Will Uncle Homer be offended by the Santa on the lawn?" or "Will all these lights blink the way they are suppose to?"or ???

Pace yourself for enjoyable memories that you can hold for you...savor the good times as well as embrace the trying times.

Journal Thursday

For today's journal entry, identify 3 traits you admire of 2-3 people in your life who are close to you. Take a moment and journal about each trait...what it is, what it means to you, and how it is demonstrated by these people. Then, consider a word of thanks to each of them for these traits. I believe it would be a blessing to them with a smile :).

What's your take on celebrations?

How do you like to enjoy them? Do you love the planning? Decorating? Do you anticipate the people? Hosting? The bustle of activities? The food? The happy feelings? Singing with others?

OR

Do you dread celebrations? Get stressed out? Have they got "out of hand" in the past? Do you find yourself sad or anxious, or angry? Has negative things happened because of "over" celebrating by you or others? Do you avoid certain people or activities during major celebrations? Holidays?

Evaluate your perspective about celebrations including how you feel, thoughts that come to mind, and actions you find yourself doing in anticipation, preparation or lack of especially during the end of the year holiday season. Focus on your attitude and what you tell yourself about celebrating and giving it a healthy and positive meaning.

Celebrations with laughter...laughter is good therapy for us.

Happy Thanksgiving

We pause today to give thanks. It is good and healthy to be thankful...may it be a part of your everyday life!

Got Stress??? Let's Review An Example

Now let's look at the first example from the last post. "My kids won't behave". This would take some time to unfold and see what's going on but let's look at this from a stress reduction approach (not necessarily from a parenting model approach).

Take a look at what's going on inside you when your child misbehaves. Are you immediately stressed? Do you find yourself yelling? Did your child make you stressed or did you choose to get stressed? Say, he didn't get ready for school in the morning as he knows what is expected. Or does he? Reflect on your responsibility as a parent. Does he/she know what is expected? Have you communicated to him and he has repeated back to you those expectations? What is your plan if she chooses not to follow through? What about when she does? What is appropriate for her age? Though we are not necessarily approaching parenting skills here in this scenario, by you choosing to keep your attitude and tone of voice in check while you tend to your child's behavior will help you maintain control of you as you apply your parenting skills with your child.

Got Stress??? Do Something About It

Many times we know we're stressed out can't seem to figure out the craziness of life as we chase our tail going 100 miles an hour. Gotta be busy with something anything and yet the need to stop just for a moment to evaluate our schedule, routine, daily or weekly activities can be the start of getting some sanity back into our lives.

Now that you have identified your stress, maybe even have written about it, now it's time to do something about it.

Take out a piece of paper and divide it in half with a vertical line. Label it as follows:

In My Responsibility and Choice To Do .... l... Not My Responsibility or Choice To Do

Take a moment and list your activities and/or relationships that stress you. These are called stressors. What is it about these activities or relationships that stress you out? Then, determine which column to put the stressors in and write them down.

Here's some examples that may help you out. "My kids won't behave", "my boyfriend just doesn't listen to me", "I've got so many parties, meetings, errands to do that I'm all over the place", "My car won't pass emissions", "I've got way too many bills", and the list goes on.

Now, take a deep breath and let it out...then breath normally. Review the columns. Focus on the left column. Consider what changes you can make and how the change would/may effect you and those who would/may be effected by the change/s.

What change in the left column are you going to start with? Consider, plan, act, review the change. Let's consider a plan from one of the examples in a future post.

Journal Thursday

At times when we are stressed from everyday life we just find ourselves exhausted. Take a moment and review your day (if at the beginning of a new day review yesterday). Now journal a bit about how the day unfolded. Write about what went well, and what didn't go so well Could there have been anything you would have wanted to do differently? Jot it down.

Now, take a moment and imagine the stress from the day you just wrote about lift from you and float away. Ah, there it goes.

You can't change the past but you can change how you approach things and people from now onward. How can you make well your following day? Consider this and journal about it.

Now relax.

Making Mondays Motivating

Hmmm...you say. How can Mondays be motivating?

Follow the 3 Ps

• Perspective--How you view life is key in your attitude
• Position--Humbly accept that you are valuable and how you are vuluable to others
• Prominence--Focus on your strengths and encourage others to shine their strengths as well

So, bend your lips a little bit upward and be proud that you can make a difference when you focus on your strengths and a mission of being positive, resourceful, valuing you and those around you. You are the difference...no matter how small or big you may imagine it.

Journal Thursday

Ok..so you got some stress, now what?

Take this time during Journal Thursday to identify just one of your stressors (that which causes stress) and write it down. Now, think about what gives it power in your life...why is it stressful? Write about it. Then, if you'd like, write about the other stressors you can identify.

Now think of at least 3 things in your life that have or currently give you strength, peace and hope. Write these down.

Got Stress??? What is It?

Awareness of stress is of vital importance but first let's define stress.

Stress is

• pressure
• strain
• uneasiness
• a heaviness or burden
  
• tension
  

This is typically applied physically, mentally, emotionally, or socially.

For example, if you are a muscle bound athlete who can easily lift 250 pounds, lifting 150 pounds would be no problem. However, compared to someone who has not trained or finds 100 pounds difficult to lift, 150 pounds would be rather stressful. Another example may be one who lives in the desert and finds 100 degrees outside as normal during the summer may find visiting Alaska during the winter a bit cold. In other words, stress to one may not be stress to another. If one has trained or prepared for certain stressors (things that cause stress) then they are more ready to handle that particular stressor.

Alright. So I got stress...who doesn't? Being aware is very important.

Take a moment and list things, people, activities in your life that you deem stressful. Then in the next blog post we will address journaling about them.

We Remember

We pause as a country dedicating this day, November 11, as Veterans Day...but every day prayers whether uttered aloud or in silence for our troops (current, retired) go out in support for the men and women in service to our country as well as for their families.

We pray, "let freedom reign!"

Got Stress???

Stress is all around us and affects us in so many ways. However, it doesn't need to control us. Here with Pathways we see many clients coming in due to several stressors in their lives yet few people are actually aware of all the things that cause stress let alone what to do about them.

In this series on stress awareness, we want to identify the stressors, evaluate them, and reduce or eliminate them as well as explore stress management skills.

We need to realize that stress is part of most everyone's life but it's what we do with it that is important to our mental, emotional, spiritual, and social well-being.

There are at least two camps on dealing with stress.

1) Identify, reduce, eliminate the stress.

2) Identify triggers to stress and develop coping strategies or stress management techniques.

A third one requires going deeper into the psyche focusing on the perception of stress, internal worldview, past events, conditioning, and other factors which usually takes the care of a professional to help you through them.

Stay tuned to the next post.

Peace to You

"Make every effort to live in peace with everyone". Is this possible? Consider what this may do for you for a moment. In order to be at peace with others you need to be at peace within yourself.

Consider the following ways to be at peace within...

• Recognize what peace means to you
• Focus on things that are peaceful
• Pray to God
• Meditate daily
  
• Seek after those who are peaceful people
• Be encouraged by peaceful people
• Read about those who have overcome adversity toward peace
  
• Let go of the pain that keeps you from peace
• Seek insight from a trusted friend, family member, elder, priest, pastor, or counselor
• Be an encouragement to others irregardless of what they may or may not give you

Peace be with you.

Journal Thursday

Another day for journaling.

Ok...as you are sitting down without distraction...pick a number between 1 and 7.

Now pick the day that corresponds with that number (i.e. 1=Sunday, 2=Monday and so on).

With the day now determined, go back to the overall mood you were in on that day (of course you are going back to the most recent day...including today...if your day lands on today). Journal about this mood you were in. Reflect for a moment. Was this the mood you wanted to be in? If not, what do you believe set this mood in motion? Journal about this (what set off your mood).

Now, determine what mood you will want for tomorrow...what will set you in this mood? Consider a bit for a moment what you tell yourself about what mood you will be in. Focus on what you are telling yourself about this mood. Journal some more about this.

May it be pleasant and enjoyed by you and others.

Privacy: Is It In You?

In a world of speaking out, telling the world what's on your mind through social networking via the internet, does it resolve the shame, fears, hurt, and pain within you? There is a part of most people who want to let go of the anguish within but lack the trust with just anyone. As a counselor, I have heard from my clients countless times that I was the first person they told or that very few knew what they just shared in the counseling session. "I don't want my friends to be burdened...they probably won't like me if I told them that...it's none of their business...my family is the problem...my friends wouldn't understand..." are just a few of summarized quotes that have been spoken to me.

Releasing the pain...filling in the space it leaves with hope, joy, forgiveness, love, and peace is what many seek today from the privacy of their hearts as they find solace through those they trust, those who are trustworthy...whether a true trusted friend, spiritual leader, or counselor. May this be you..from the silent pain within to the confidential expression with another to the letting go to the healing.

Value your mental and emotional well-being today.

by Joel Ackley
Director, Supervisor

Journal Thursday

Imagine writing your own song or poem. What would be the theme? What would you include in it? Who would it be for? For a song, what would the genre be?

Now take a moment and imagine yourself writing your song or poem.

Now....let it flow.


Option....
If this is too difficult for you, then pick a song or poem you really enjoy. Then write about what makes it special for you.

Patience in the Healing Process

In our crazed and hectic society where information and feedback are instantaneous, somehow certain changes can be slow and frustrating. When it comes to our mental health, patience is the last thing we want especially when we are in emotional, mental or relational pain. We want answers and we want them now. But that ol' phrase that is like fingernails down the chalkboard, "It didn't take ya overnight to get in this mess, and it won't take ya overnight to get out of it" seems to ring out. Why? Because there are certain things in life that take time.

For example, if you have had a broken bone, you've probably anticipated a few weeks for it to heal. If you've planted some flowers, fruits or vegetables, you have expected a few weeks more for them to grow and then be ready to enjoy. However, when life takes an unexpected turn, how do we figure getting all the pieces back together or the length of time to get back to how things were if in fact they ever do?

This is where seeking assistance (whether human, divine or both), seeking social support, with courage and patience in the restorative process are key in overcoming these things. Your well being is of great value and taking the time to restore your relational, mental and emotional health matter. Time? Sacrifice? Yes, but you are well worth it! Think about the broken bone or the seeds you plant. If you did nothing, what would the results be? Your body in general has healing capabilities, rain falls to the ground to water the plants, but with proper care, healthy attention with endurance and strength, healing and growth can transpire.

Take the time for you...you matter!

Journal Thursday

Journaling has become a big part of our world over the past few years and especially at the introduction the web log and then the internet social networks. Many people put whatever thoughts come to mind on their blogs, or Facebook or MySpace, or Twitter, or in texting on the mobile phone. But what about the private world? Do you have one?I believe even in the midst of social networking there are parts of our beings we do not share and are not forthcoming with.

With that said, take a moment and answer the question below. Give yourself the time you need to think through your answer...then journal.

What defines the mystery of being you...uniquely you?

Enjoy the Weather

If you have been running of late and spending much of your time inside, then might I suggest a refresher to the great outdoors. Getting a few minutes of walking in the sunshine can really help reset your mental focus and attitude.

Consider going outside to a park, ride your bike or go for a hike. Plan on enjoying the beautiful Autumn weather:)...it will be well worth your time and sense of well-being! And while you are at it, invite a friend to go with you or go with a friend or two on their outdoor adventure.

Another Manic Monday???

It was the song Manic Monday that caught my attention one day as I heard it again. Playing in my head wishing Monday was not today. My Sunday yesterday was long and I needed another "Sunday" to recharge.

As I reflect for a moment, we all have Mondays...days we wish didn't come or would only be around once in a blue moon. Maybe it's the day that tells us to slow down and clear our crazy, hectic lives and focus on what really matters. I find myself dragging at times not wishing that a day like today has occurred in my life...but it's days like Monday that reminds me to take time for the pain to be felt, energy to regain and reassert again that this too will pass and somehow is meant to be.

Journal Thursday

Imagine doing something you have always wanted to learn how to do but for some reason have not got around to learning it...whether skate boarding, playing in a rock band, skydiving, playing for the NFL, being a dancer, or ??? Now, get in a comfortable spot at home and close your eyes and let your imagination play out that very thing.

After your imaginative activity, journal about it.

Journal Thursday

Journaling is a creative, fun, insightful, and thought provoking tool that many counselors use to assist their clients in discovering, clarifying, and validating a number of things from the past, present and future thoughts, feelings, actions, attitude, perspective, etc. of the client.

With this stated, take a moment and identify an early childhood memory of a place where you found as a safe place to play. Now, imagine yourself for a moment being there. Go ahead...get in a comfortable chair, close your eyes, have a quiet low lite room, no distractions and imagine. What are the surroundings? What do you see? Hear? Smell? What do you feel? A breeze? Sunshine? What feelings are going on inside you as you are there? What are you doing? Are there others with you?

Now go ahead and journal a few lines about how it felt for you to travel back in time to that childhood place.

Do you have a place to go to today for a moment of safe, fun play?

Attitude Choices

One day I was busy in my office preparing for a meeting when a salesman entered the front door. He had that salesman look and a catalog in his hand. He stated his name, his business and if I needed his product. I was a bit short with him and I didn't want what he was selling and neither his free catalog he offered. I hurried him out the door. I was pissed off. I was in the middle of thought and preparation when this guy shows up peddling his product. The gall.

Later, I reflected as to why I was so upset and what I could have done differently. Well, there is a sign on the office door saying "No Solicitors", I was in the middle of something, and I didn't need what he was selling. So yeah, I was rude and yet for good reason. Though I had been offended by this guy I realized my choice of action was returning rudeness toward some guy who ignored my office sign and just went about trying to do his job. More anguish for me then I needed.

So I reflect and realize I had a choice as to how I was going to respond and to what degree this guy and situation was to get to me. What choices are you facing? Are others annoying you or just have little boundaries with you? What are your responses to them? What attitude will you choose with those who are offensive?

Joel

Journal Thursday

Imagine having the ability of going back in time. Which era would you travel to and why. Consider contributions you would make, people you would meet and so on.
Have fun, be creative!

Making More Mondays Matter

Here's an acronym to start the week. You make the difference in the lives you touch including your own.

Have you ever wondered why Mondays seem different and unappealing then say Friday? Why is that? Maybe it is what you tell yourself about these particular days. Try a new perspective about Mondays.

Here's the 4 Ms to remember....

Making- With intent and purpose with a thoughtful preparation telling yourself that this is the day you make a positive difference in the lives of others

More- Recognizing the energy and sustainability of being a human being in motion adding strength and courage each day. This adds momentum for change one little step at a time.

Mondays- It is a day that you determine is the day you make it...it doesn't make you, you determine what it will be for you.

Matter- You and what you do matters because each day is unique in and of itself and will not return again.

Making the most of what matters most!

Journal Thursday

This is an opportunity we set aside for those who wish to pursue self introspection... to reflect within for self care, self-esteem boost along with self responsibility and fulfillment and satisfaction. We also encourage you to invite others in your circle to do the same and with those you really trust to share your introspective thoughts for mutual growth together.

With that said, take 3 note cards write, "I am planning to complete the following goal by __________. (Then list your goal here...one per card). If you receive this message, please mail it back to me asking if I have met this goal. Any encouraging words would be greatly appreciated. Thanks". Be sure each goal you are currently pursuing or plan to complete is within six months to no more than a year. Also, include on each of the cards your name and address with a postcard stamp(email or snail mail or even a Skype #). Get 3 balloons filled with helium and attach each card to their perspective balloon and take them to a large clearing and release them. Then go about pursuing your 3 goals and wait and see which card/s get returned to you.

A Refreshed Journey

We are coming back into the blogging scene after a couple year hiatus. It seems that everywhere we see blogs of all kinds and an over abundance of opinions out there. We here with Pathways want to provide a bit of information, knowledge, as well as some fun along with internal and external expression and reflection. We have given our web log a new name to reflect more of life as a journey, ever evolving and changing as we adapt and adjust to change and hopefully along the way hold fast to viable, sound values and judgments which will act as a foundation for character, honor, strength and courage in these tumultuous times.

If there are topics along the way that you would like for us to address, please let us know. We will do our best to address these areas or see if we could point you in the right direction.

Feel free to visit our site at http://www.pathwaystucson.com and peruse through the site and offer some feedback if you'd like. We are here to be of service for you, your partner, family as well as friends.

Our new email address is info@pathwaystucson.com if you'd like to drop us a line.