What's your take on celebrations?

How do you like to enjoy them? Do you love the planning? Decorating? Do you anticipate the people? Hosting? The bustle of activities? The food? The happy feelings? Singing with others?

OR

Do you dread celebrations? Get stressed out? Have they got "out of hand" in the past? Do you find yourself sad or anxious, or angry? Has negative things happened because of "over" celebrating by you or others? Do you avoid certain people or activities during major celebrations? Holidays?

Evaluate your perspective about celebrations including how you feel, thoughts that come to mind, and actions you find yourself doing in anticipation, preparation or lack of especially during the end of the year holiday season. Focus on your attitude and what you tell yourself about celebrating and giving it a healthy and positive meaning.

Celebrations with laughter...laughter is good therapy for us.

Happy Thanksgiving

We pause today to give thanks. It is good and healthy to be thankful...may it be a part of your everyday life!

Got Stress??? Let's Review An Example

Now let's look at the first example from the last post. "My kids won't behave". This would take some time to unfold and see what's going on but let's look at this from a stress reduction approach (not necessarily from a parenting model approach).

Take a look at what's going on inside you when your child misbehaves. Are you immediately stressed? Do you find yourself yelling? Did your child make you stressed or did you choose to get stressed? Say, he didn't get ready for school in the morning as he knows what is expected. Or does he? Reflect on your responsibility as a parent. Does he/she know what is expected? Have you communicated to him and he has repeated back to you those expectations? What is your plan if she chooses not to follow through? What about when she does? What is appropriate for her age? Though we are not necessarily approaching parenting skills here in this scenario, by you choosing to keep your attitude and tone of voice in check while you tend to your child's behavior will help you maintain control of you as you apply your parenting skills with your child.

Got Stress??? Do Something About It

Many times we know we're stressed out can't seem to figure out the craziness of life as we chase our tail going 100 miles an hour. Gotta be busy with something anything and yet the need to stop just for a moment to evaluate our schedule, routine, daily or weekly activities can be the start of getting some sanity back into our lives.

Now that you have identified your stress, maybe even have written about it, now it's time to do something about it.

Take out a piece of paper and divide it in half with a vertical line. Label it as follows:

In My Responsibility and Choice To Do .... l... Not My Responsibility or Choice To Do

Take a moment and list your activities and/or relationships that stress you. These are called stressors. What is it about these activities or relationships that stress you out? Then, determine which column to put the stressors in and write them down.

Here's some examples that may help you out. "My kids won't behave", "my boyfriend just doesn't listen to me", "I've got so many parties, meetings, errands to do that I'm all over the place", "My car won't pass emissions", "I've got way too many bills", and the list goes on.

Now, take a deep breath and let it out...then breath normally. Review the columns. Focus on the left column. Consider what changes you can make and how the change would/may effect you and those who would/may be effected by the change/s.

What change in the left column are you going to start with? Consider, plan, act, review the change. Let's consider a plan from one of the examples in a future post.

Journal Thursday

At times when we are stressed from everyday life we just find ourselves exhausted. Take a moment and review your day (if at the beginning of a new day review yesterday). Now journal a bit about how the day unfolded. Write about what went well, and what didn't go so well Could there have been anything you would have wanted to do differently? Jot it down.

Now, take a moment and imagine the stress from the day you just wrote about lift from you and float away. Ah, there it goes.

You can't change the past but you can change how you approach things and people from now onward. How can you make well your following day? Consider this and journal about it.

Now relax.

Making Mondays Motivating

Hmmm...you say. How can Mondays be motivating?

Follow the 3 Ps

• Perspective--How you view life is key in your attitude
• Position--Humbly accept that you are valuable and how you are vuluable to others
• Prominence--Focus on your strengths and encourage others to shine their strengths as well

So, bend your lips a little bit upward and be proud that you can make a difference when you focus on your strengths and a mission of being positive, resourceful, valuing you and those around you. You are the difference...no matter how small or big you may imagine it.

Journal Thursday

Ok..so you got some stress, now what?

Take this time during Journal Thursday to identify just one of your stressors (that which causes stress) and write it down. Now, think about what gives it power in your life...why is it stressful? Write about it. Then, if you'd like, write about the other stressors you can identify.

Now think of at least 3 things in your life that have or currently give you strength, peace and hope. Write these down.

Got Stress??? What is It?

Awareness of stress is of vital importance but first let's define stress.

Stress is

• pressure
• strain
• uneasiness
• a heaviness or burden
  
• tension
  

This is typically applied physically, mentally, emotionally, or socially.

For example, if you are a muscle bound athlete who can easily lift 250 pounds, lifting 150 pounds would be no problem. However, compared to someone who has not trained or finds 100 pounds difficult to lift, 150 pounds would be rather stressful. Another example may be one who lives in the desert and finds 100 degrees outside as normal during the summer may find visiting Alaska during the winter a bit cold. In other words, stress to one may not be stress to another. If one has trained or prepared for certain stressors (things that cause stress) then they are more ready to handle that particular stressor.

Alright. So I got stress...who doesn't? Being aware is very important.

Take a moment and list things, people, activities in your life that you deem stressful. Then in the next blog post we will address journaling about them.

We Remember

We pause as a country dedicating this day, November 11, as Veterans Day...but every day prayers whether uttered aloud or in silence for our troops (current, retired) go out in support for the men and women in service to our country as well as for their families.

We pray, "let freedom reign!"

Got Stress???

Stress is all around us and affects us in so many ways. However, it doesn't need to control us. Here with Pathways we see many clients coming in due to several stressors in their lives yet few people are actually aware of all the things that cause stress let alone what to do about them.

In this series on stress awareness, we want to identify the stressors, evaluate them, and reduce or eliminate them as well as explore stress management skills.

We need to realize that stress is part of most everyone's life but it's what we do with it that is important to our mental, emotional, spiritual, and social well-being.

There are at least two camps on dealing with stress.

1) Identify, reduce, eliminate the stress.

2) Identify triggers to stress and develop coping strategies or stress management techniques.

A third one requires going deeper into the psyche focusing on the perception of stress, internal worldview, past events, conditioning, and other factors which usually takes the care of a professional to help you through them.

Stay tuned to the next post.

Peace to You

"Make every effort to live in peace with everyone". Is this possible? Consider what this may do for you for a moment. In order to be at peace with others you need to be at peace within yourself.

Consider the following ways to be at peace within...

• Recognize what peace means to you
• Focus on things that are peaceful
• Pray to God
• Meditate daily
  
• Seek after those who are peaceful people
• Be encouraged by peaceful people
• Read about those who have overcome adversity toward peace
  
• Let go of the pain that keeps you from peace
• Seek insight from a trusted friend, family member, elder, priest, pastor, or counselor
• Be an encouragement to others irregardless of what they may or may not give you

Peace be with you.

Journal Thursday

Another day for journaling.

Ok...as you are sitting down without distraction...pick a number between 1 and 7.

Now pick the day that corresponds with that number (i.e. 1=Sunday, 2=Monday and so on).

With the day now determined, go back to the overall mood you were in on that day (of course you are going back to the most recent day...including today...if your day lands on today). Journal about this mood you were in. Reflect for a moment. Was this the mood you wanted to be in? If not, what do you believe set this mood in motion? Journal about this (what set off your mood).

Now, determine what mood you will want for tomorrow...what will set you in this mood? Consider a bit for a moment what you tell yourself about what mood you will be in. Focus on what you are telling yourself about this mood. Journal some more about this.

May it be pleasant and enjoyed by you and others.

Privacy: Is It In You?

In a world of speaking out, telling the world what's on your mind through social networking via the internet, does it resolve the shame, fears, hurt, and pain within you? There is a part of most people who want to let go of the anguish within but lack the trust with just anyone. As a counselor, I have heard from my clients countless times that I was the first person they told or that very few knew what they just shared in the counseling session. "I don't want my friends to be burdened...they probably won't like me if I told them that...it's none of their business...my family is the problem...my friends wouldn't understand..." are just a few of summarized quotes that have been spoken to me.

Releasing the pain...filling in the space it leaves with hope, joy, forgiveness, love, and peace is what many seek today from the privacy of their hearts as they find solace through those they trust, those who are trustworthy...whether a true trusted friend, spiritual leader, or counselor. May this be you..from the silent pain within to the confidential expression with another to the letting go to the healing.

Value your mental and emotional well-being today.

by Joel Ackley
Director, Supervisor